Taking time to look around.

It's Thursday.
You decided you want to go for a walk,
So you headed town.
You're walking on the streets full of people.

It's a beautiful sunny day.
The sky is blue,the grass is green.
People are walking next to you.
You stop.
You sit down on a bench of a bus stop.
You look around.
And you're amazed by all the things you see.
There is absolutely one things you're thinking about now,
It's just you,and the rest of the world.
No problems,no job,no stress.
You look to the right,and you see a woman,walking hand in hand with his little kid.
They are headed home after they were shopping.
You can tell the mom is happy,she has the most beautiful smile on her face.
You can also tell she's tired.She has wrinkles.
The kid is well dressed,she takes good care of him.
You can also see the kid adores his mother.He can't stop looking at her.
He askes the most silly questions,just to hear her talk.
So he can feel safe,that her mother is there.
They pass.
Next,you see a dog walking down,with his owner.
The dog is really big,and you can tell that the owner is taking good care of him.
You can also tell he's well trained.
The owner speaks to his dog in a weird language.
You don't understand it.
You just know that the dog is listening to him.
The bus came.People are trying to get on the bus.
They aren't really nice one to another.
The bus leaves.
You observe an old lady coming towards you.
You can see she is really old,
She barely has grey hair.
Her clothes are really dirty.
You feel sorry for her.
You can see that she hasn't had a proper meal for years.
She has beautiful,baby blue eyes.
You can see her kindness in them.
While she is getting closer,she smiles.
A tear streams from your eyes
You wish you could help her with something.
You smile back.
She suddenly disappears.
But her face is something you're not going to forget.

I close my eyes.
My imagination wonders from one heard story to another.
A little imagination here,and there,
And a fairytale is created in my head.
Dream.
The one place,where things go as you want them to,
The one place where you can be any character you want to be.
And you always have a happy ending.
Reality is a place,where many people don't dare to venture.
They would rather hide behind someone else,
Or they would simply live in their own little world.
There are so many things that it could be said,
But I'd rather let you imagine the rest.
...

Introduction

Welcome, filthy wratches of society
To make things simple, I surpass any fragment of your imagination. I'm uncensored, filthy, and totally unorthodoxed. Im addicting, mentally ridiculous, and my mouth is nastier then a fat whores gouch. Over time, my imperfections have swelled and my heart is infertile of all emotion. I live to wage war against the sane, the normal, and the accepted. I am a very powerful individual that has overdosed on ambition and peoples bullshit. To the people that understand me. I am a cipher of motivation and retribution. I'm the one person you don't want to fuck with, and to do so is a guaranteed facial. I've been through enough hypocrisy and betrayal .

To all the people that have ever betrayed me, tainted my name, or have genuinely fucked me over, here is my last message to you. You all are nothing but shit remnants in a maggots bowels, and I will applaud the day that you fall inconspicuously, meaningless to the rest of the world. Cursed, you will be, by the memories of your indiscretions and lack of wisdom. When I am towering over you, skyrocketing into atmospheres you can only look up to gaze at. You will remember. You will remember the day you sharpened your knives, loaded your guns, and lit your torches. You will remember the day you meditated your treason against me. You will remember that it was I, the one that loved you, that you nailed to your crucifix of philistinism. I nursed you caressed your wounds, and cleansed you of the same filth you smeared upon my face. I sheltered you, while you abandoned me. I upheaved your burdens, while you became one on my shoulders. While you where playing in your pool of plagiarized perfections. I have become your inevitable bane.

The one you will answer to for everything

my heart holds no respect for you, and I will see all of you freeze in the deepest pits of Dantes dream.

I am above your shit society, laws, and expectations. I am bold, beautiful, and too good to waste my time with anybody unitellectual who lacks class. I move at my pace which will nevert change for anyone or anything. I demand respect regardless of personal outlooks. All of my relationships revovle around respect and security. I refuse to lower my standards for you. And dont expect to get treated like royalty if you havent done shit to deserve it. You have to get somewhere in this world to be given the least bit of recognization, and I will be remembered. I refuse to fade to black without leaving my flaming mark in peoples minds and hearts. I refuse to sink fatally into the quicksand of forgotten idols. Sitting around. Wishing upon a dimming star will not grand you what you want. Ou have to motivate yourself in order to accomplish your wildest dreams. Go out, strut, and show the growing population that you are worth a shit. To lay and rot is inexcusable. To remain silent without pride in your work or unreasonable. We are all dormant gods and goddesses, but it is only up to you to awaken the inner deity. I am far beyond your lies. Your insecurities, and your constant issues. I would rather be intimidating then gullible. I will fight until my rib cage disintegrates from the constant willpower to succeed and overpower. I am one of the last real women in the world, and I have the urge to make every motherfuckers head implode. With nothing but eyeliner-clad eyes and overwhelming incentive to slam, I am the final defense. The final weapon. The definition of ultimate bad-assetry.

When I leave this pathetic earth, I will be laid to rest with both middle fingers presented across my chest with my eyes open to watch the world burn.

In the end, I will be feasting upon the ashes of your fallen dreams and discombobulated desires.

Finding Neverland

Imi place sa zambesc.Imi place sa fiu trista.
Imi place sa rad.Imi place sa plang.
Imi place sa'i fac pe altii sa rada.Imi place sa ma faca altii sa rad.
Imi place sa fiu cea din urma.Imi place sa fiu cea dintai.
Imi place sa fiu originala.Imi place sa fiu o copie.
Imi place culoarea apusului.Imi place culoarea rasaritului.
Imi place orizontul.Imi plac barcile care dispar in orizont.
Imi plac inceputurile.Imi plac sfarsiturile.
Imi place sa dorm.Imi place sa fiu treaza.
Imi place ziua.Imi place noaptea.
Imi place linistea.Imi place galagia.
Imi plac copii.Imi plac batranii.
Imi place primavara.Imi place toamna.
Imi plac copacii.Imi plac frunzele toamna.
Imi place ca Martie vine in fiecare an.Imi place ca Martie e urmata de Aprilie.
Imi place cerul.Imi plac stelele.
Imi place soarele.Imi place luna.
Imi place sa ascult muzica.Imi place sa fredonez.
Imi place mirosul de iarna.Imi place mirosul de primavara.
Imi place sa fiu diferita.Imi place sa fiu obisnuita.
Imi place ce tie nu'ti place.Imi place ce tie'ti place.
Imi place sa ma plimb.Imi place sa alerg.
Imi place sa am prieteni.Imi place sa fiu singura.
Imi place misterul.Imi place sa stiu lucruri.
Imi place sa zbor.Imi place pamantul.
Imi place arta.Imi place literatura.
Imi place ca tu citesti asta.
Imi plac plimbarile noaptea.Imi plac plimbarile ziua.
Imi place apa.Imi place desertul.
Imi place marea.Imi plac valurile ce se zdrobesc.
Imi place sa dorm.Imi place sa visez.
Imi place sa cred.Imi place sa stiu.
Imi place sa'mi imaginez lucruri.Imi place sa mi se spuna.
Imi place sa inventez.Imi place sa citesc.
Imi place viata.Imi place moartea.
Imi plac tatuajele care semnifica ceva.Imi plac pierceurile.
Imi place sa fiu lenesa.Imi place sa fiu activa.
Imi plac culorile inchise.Imi plac culorile deschise.
Imi place ciocolate fierbine.Imi place laptele.
Imi place sa fumez.Imi place sa beau Cola.
Imi place sa mananc.Imi place sa nu mananc.
Imi plac lucrurile excentrice.Imi place obisnuinta.
Imi place monotonia.Imi plac lucrurile spontane.
Imi place sa gandesc.Imi place sa meditez.
Imi place sa iubesc.Imi place sa fiu iubita.
Imi place...

Athazagoraphobia

Live.Love.Forgive.Forget.Die.
We're all born,but I'm not sure yet who decides whether we should be born or no,or either we choose the family we want to be born in or not.
Things aren't always simple,we always have problems,we always fight,but family is always there for you.They have to love you,no matter what you did or what you are,because it's what family is all about.Of course most of the times we fight with our parents,we 'hate' them and we can't wait to get away from them,but once we'll have our own family,we will realize a lot of things.Like why they didn't let you go out with someone that looked suspicious.The truth is I had many moments when I wished to just get away from my parents,and someday i will leave the house and move into my own,but honestly,I wouldn't trade my family for nothing on earth.I have the best sister ever.She is really a little genius,and my parents have always compared me to her.She is really smart and all,and I am really lazy.And i hated my parents because they wanted me to be like her,but i just couldn't.I'm not like her,I'm different than her.I'm exactly her opposite.The qualities she has,I don't have,and the qualities I have she doesn't have.Of course she has way more qualities than me,but I'm not jealous at her,I'm happy for her.I love her to death.i really do.And I seriously wouldn't change her for nothing in this world.
Love.
We are all born to love.Everybody has different things they like,some people like nature,some people like animals,some people like to fight agains world hunger,or they simply love people so much that they want to help as many people as they can.We all have at least one thing that we love to death.We hold on to that thing untill the day we die.Some people love to death a hobby,some people love other people,some people love art,some people love music,some people love nature.There are millions of things that we love.People are different.Everyone is different.I can assure you that you won't find two people who are exactly the same.For example I love creativity.I love being original,although I wake up sometimes that someone else had the same idea before me.I honeslty don't like people who are unoriginal,or I really don't like people who will label themselves as something even if they are not.You have to be who you are.That's the most important thing.Don't be someone you like or don't try to be someone you're not,it will never work.I still have to figure out some things at myself,even if it's very hard,but if you have someone there fopr you who is able to help you,you'll figure things out.

Atychiphobia

Urasc cand se schimba lucrurile.De obicei in rau.
Urasc cand oamenii ma fac sa iau decizii.Mai ales ca nu stiu ce sa aleg.
Urasc timpul,pentru ca de obicei trece prea repede.
Urasc masinile.Prea multe accidente.
Urasc ca depind de oameni.Sunt independenta.
Urasc linistea.Dar cateodata am nevoie.
Urasc sa fiu luata pe sus.Nu sunt proasta.
Urasc oamenii care judeca.Nuci nu ma cunosc.
Urasc cafeaua.Are un gust oribil.
Urasc fobiile.Dar toti avem fobii.
Urasc scoala.Dar fara scoala unde ajung?
Urasc gandacii.Care e rostul lor?
Urasc drogurile.Nu sunt slaba.
Urasc alcoolul.Nu inteleg de ce schimba atat de mult un om.
Urasc bolile.Ar fi mai bine fara.
Urasc anatomia umana.Nu potea sa fie mai usor?
Urasc copii imaturi.De ce se cred maturi?
Urasc sa urasc?De ce?

Erka

No lies, no pretending, no sugar-coating, and no faking it.

I will tell you a secret; something they do not teach you in your temple. The gods envy us; they envy us, because we're mortal, because, any moment might be our last. Everything is more beautiful, because we are doomed. You will never be lovelier, than you are now. We will never be here again.


Not many people take the time to read about me's, when I think everyone should read them to better educate themselves on the human psyche.
My life has been one big evolutionary track.
Im always changing.
Not always for the better, but I believe change is a decent thing to have.
Im allowing you to judge me.
Im allowing you to tear what I am apart.
Because I'd do the same thing to you.
Im nothing of what you might think I am.
Im not going to give you, some watered down explanation, of why the sky is blue.
I find people to cling to because I need someone, there to be my ground, or Id simply float away.
Ive always got something to say.
My sarcasm is hard to catch on to.
My life is good, my life is bad.
I have everything I could wish for but yet I have nothing at all.
I am the happiest person you will meet; I am the saddest person you will ever know.
I am not crazy but I feel I am losing my mind.
I'm unique, but how can I be unique if everyone else claims to be also

I learned that perfection is another word for flaws and with flaws, you lack no perfection.
I live in a world of misunderstood minds and not so rational beings.
We will never change; even when the world ends we stand to be irrelevant.
I live life to my preference because Im only living once.
I want to enjoy every bit of it.
So please worry about yourself and not me.
I think you should all stop wasting precious time judging anothers life.
Im really shy, and a lot of the time I dont know how to respond to people.
I love stars; they are the most beautiful thing ever.
I like to day dream and I am deeply in love with sight seeing,
I want to travel the world and capture whats left of its beauty, everything we havent completely destroyed yet.
I am a strong person, the parts of me that need to change are changing and I'm working harder at being happy,
I will never settle again because I know better and I've had enough bad experiences,
I will not trust anyone who's not trustworthy and I will never give my heart up to anyone but the most deserving person.

Im just a small town girl in a big, big world.
I live just like any other human,
My grass is just a little greener than yours.
I am so much more than pixels on a screen.
I'm strong and opinionated.
There are many ups and down to me.
Nothings better then a day spent with someone I love.
Growing up isn't always easy but being hurt and naive is much worse.
These past few months I've realized a lot about myself, I sell myself short of my worth,
I worry too much, I enjoy some of the most fucked up things, I don't care who I hurt as long as I don't get hurt,
I am blunt to the point it burns people, and Im moody.
Stay strong and don't let anyone else get you down,
You are your own worst enemy in the end because you make your decisions.
What is there to say?
I have come a long way since
what most of you know, Things have changed
about me but everything else is entirely
the same. Life is getting more confusing,
People are getting harder to understand
Constant backstabs. Constant friendships broken.
Constant arguements and fights. Hurtful words
That make us cry. Everything that once seemed good
all turned bad. Everything I use to love is now
a wanting or more of a need to have back
I mess things up, I say stupid things
I get mad very easy, I cry faster then my words
speak. I will call you names but never mean it.
Say I hate you but i'll always regret it.
At a time I might ignore you, or exclude you from
my life but realize I don't mean to but
is that really an excuse? I would say the things I do
are more hurtful then what is spoken
I try to be the best I can but hell what can I say
We as people make mistakes
I mess up more then I fix
I tell lies but lies that hold truth
I tell truth that holds lies
But who in the world doesnt?
I want happiness to be continued, friendships to
be once again. I want hugs that speak words
and conversations that leave me speechless
I want some one to hold my heart, and keep it
safe against theirs. I want some one to confinde in.
I want words to hold truth, and words that make me smile
I want things that make us giggle, and
a life with lasting laughs. I want everything that seems
good but also I want the bad. Without bad we would have
Nothing and nothing would never last, Without bad we
would not learn from all the mistakes that we tend to make
And If i were to tell you of all the times I messed up
My list would go on for days, because as I am only human
every thing i do will add up. I carry with me memories
Everything that keeps me happy. I hold on to my hope
and faith it makes me feel alive.
I close my eyes and wish on stars
I make wishes when numbers on the clock are the same
I get giddy over cute love songs,
I smile at crony lines
I flush red over little things
I talk fast when I get nervous
I bite my nails when I am bored
Every little thing I do makes me feel great
Every time I hold a wish, it tells more stories I
yet not know. I will give you all of me for one
thing in return. Never ask me to be who I am not
because in the end I will never change.
those few words of "I wish you could be like her or like him"
Will slowly be flushed down a drain.
Don't flatter your self over little remarks
Talk about me? Well then thats you.
Don't like me then bye.
The world isn't pretty and people dislike things
theres so much of me to hate, but if you hate it
why give me the attention?
So tell me when you really mean or I will never believe
If you want to hear how I feel then
Find a way to get through me. Find a way to break my
wall that I have built so well.
My one goal is to make you smile
to keep you happy for a lifetime
To be a good friend, to make good memories
To be the best that I can be,
So what more can I say? things to know and things
you may never like I can not change for you
I am only one person, there are so many in this world
one little person named Erika.
Unlike most of you, I know exactly whats the difference between telling my opinion to someone and offending someone. You can explain everything in a gentle way. Yes, the truth does hurt but if you are mature enough you can say something that is actually worth listening to and not just your average bullshit coming out of your mouth that you may call "brutal honesty".

I gave up on people. I am not going to open up for you, you have to earn it. Of course you will know some basics about me that everyone knows but you will never see what is going on inside my mind. Only if i decide to tell you. Which i highly doubt will ever happen if you don't prove me that you're worth my trust. I have many beautiful friends in my life and on here too.
y life is not perfect. Neither I am. I don't piss glitter or puke glamour. I have many flaws to deal with. I am just a human who can laugh, care, be free, get hurt, be down or cry. And I am not going to pretend that I am the one who you won't affect with your words. But! Keep in mind please, that only my friends opinions count to me.

I might come across as a stuck up bitch, a person to look up to, a person that is cruel, a person that lets things slip by her ears without reacting. It doesn't matter. I am not here to entertain you or to please you. If you like me, then don't hesitate writing to me. If you don't, then sorry, ignore me. You don't have to talk to me. But never forget: I always have a last word to everyone.

I'm changing more, so get ready for it. I'm done being nice. if you're on my bad side you're never going to get on my good side. I can hold grudges for a very long time. i absolutely hate liars, so if i ever catch you lying to me or behind my back, you're seriously done and out of my life. i have serious trust issues and people piss me off very quickly. i hate half the people on my space, that think so highly of themselves. it's so annoying. the people i have in my life right now mean so much to me, and i know they won't let me down like all the other people that were in my life before. i think too much, i can read people like no other, i know fake from real, and i get jealous really easy, but I'm trying to help that. when I'm done with school, i would like to go traveling. The year of 2009 is going to be a good year for me, I'm going to forget what happened in 2008. I'm not letting people walk all over me anymore, or people get to me as much.

Don't try to get inside my mind,I lost it a long time ago.If I was my heart,I'd be dead.I suffer from multiple personalities.I could be pretty quiet or really loud.Really nice or a complete asshole.I'm insecure,and self concious but I could have the biggest ego you'd ever see.I'm your best kept secret.I'm that one question that really bugs you because you just can't find the answer to it.I'm hard to understand, but easy to get along with.If I let you,take a chance and talk to me.Maybe you'll blow my mind.

Let me entrance your mind a bit.

I like to sit in the middle of an empty room and wonder, wonder about life and how it'd be different how I'd be different if things hadn't been this way.

Sometimes my thoughts aren't my own, but if you want you can borrow my conscious for a while. I won't be needing it soon.
Rarely am I completely focused on one task, multiple ones at a time are what I need.

I like to walk in the middle of the road and wonder about the person bold enough to mow down my arrogant swagger.

I don't like similarities, differences and changes capture me. Something constantly changing, an enigma are things that fascinate me and are more constantly protruding in my thoughts.

Sitting down, my mind walks through steps down that pathway no one else dares venture.

I'm an honest person. I get along with nearly everyone . I prefer to be happy.
I tend to think about the past a lot more than I think about the future. I love to contemplate the inner workings of peoples thoughts. Let me disect your mind, I promise not to be intrusive.

Let me into your life, I can be your greatest addiction. Get to know me through my gestures, know me for what's true, not from what you hear of others. Don't let my looks distract you. And I'll be sure to return the favor.

I have so many possibilities for my future but I dont know if I will be able to grasp them. I do the best I can do everyday, hoping it will be enough to get through to the next. People try to stand in my way but I walk right past. My mind is always filled with thoughts and ideas but sometimes I cant go through with them. I love arts and no one will stop me in pursuing my dream. Im really just like everyone else, but in a different way.

I grew up in a world where imperfection was not an option, family was your enemy, and image was everything. I would twist and mold myself until I reached everyone around me's satisfaction. I was a puppet trained to arouse everyone around me, but I forgot someone along the way..myself. As I gradually grew up more and more, I started to realize just how much I had forgot myself and was living everyone elses dream. I knew eventually I would have to stop this, but doing this meant I would have to leave my concrete life and start over new. I chose to take a stand, I did the only thing that I could think of at the time, I slowly started to destroy everything that made me the girl everyone loved. pound by pound I lost, hair chopped, self esteem lost. Soon after, everything else faded, there was no more perfect puppet. Thats what I wanted...right? I went from being the one everyone loved to the one I hated, I couldnt grasp the feeling of being myself. A year passed and I still could not seem to lead my own life. Looking in the mirror was like facing and staring at my enemy. I realized if I ever wanted to become fully at peace, I would turn to drastic measures, if you dont like something about yourself, I believe you have the power to change it,...unfortionately..I took it to far. I was not living MY life..i was living in the footsteps other people has set up for me to be. I hurt my body, and completely tore the ones around me's hearts. I knew I couldnt keep doing this, so i had to end it once and for all. I said fuck it all. My search for perfection ended, I had grown to love the person I had become, I was at peace. I guess some of you that are reading this are asking in your head, "Why is she spilling out like this?" or.."What the hell is she talking about???" Well I know somewhere or maybe even someone that is reading this has problems finding who they are. We tend to mask ourselves and try to become something our society accepts. Well I for one will gladly stand up and say fuck society. Dont be afraid of who you really are. everyone has something about them that makes them unique, it just takes the brave ones to show it off to the world, but sadly, this is what we label as..our local freaks...Well if being a freak means being myself then I guess I can accept that. Im encouraging you to also.If your one that gets effected by labels, well sadly let me tell you this. Break out of your mask Accept the labels, and shine. Show everyone exactly who you are, and always remember, for every sunset, there is a sunrise soon to follow it.